Thursday, November 5, 2015

Disgusting carpet gets magnificent sendoff

As regular readers of this site probably already know, I have a hate-hate relationship with my white living room carpet.  (See: the great butter vomit incident of 2013 and the rainbow regurge ... also of 2013. I guess 2013 wasn't a great year for the white living room carpet.)

The white living room carpet is not to be confused with the boring beige carpet in the kids'  room that received a makeover last spring courtesy of Lily and Jovie. Nor is it to be confused with my oft-abhorred kitchen floor, which has become much more manageable (and hopefully slightly less bacteria ridden) thanks to the steam mop I got last Christmas.

The white living room carpet's biggest offense is that it's white – something that I didn't consider a problem when we bought the house six years ago. Back then, I was just excited that the various area rugs conveyed with the house – they did such a nice job at covering up the careworn wood floors. 

But then we got the dog. 

And really, it's not the white living room carpet's fault we got a dog – a dog that has been known to use the carpet as both toilet paper and a convenient repository for his throw-up. 

Just like it's not really the white living room carpet's fault (or the fault of the boring beige carpet in the kids' room) that next, we had children. Milk spewing, juice-spilling, Play-Doh squishing, muddy footing children. Two of them. 

As it turns out, a perpetually shedding, occasionally vomiting beagle mix and a pair of perpetually careless, occasionally grubby little girls are a lethal combination to a white living room carpet.

Some might even say that it's the real victim here. 

But not me.  

I finally decided a few weeks back, while watching the dog casually drag his butt along one particularly foul corner of the white living room carpet, that it was time for it to go.

The aforementioned corner. The Bermuda Triangle of funk.
Brad and I have been on a bit of a home-improvement binge this month – painting our bedroom and the living room, and we decided we'd refinish the living room floor while we're at it. Seemed like the perfect time to bid adieu to a carpet that has spent the past six years being saturated in multi-species bodily goo, food debris, fur and I don't even care to speculate on what else. 

Of course, being me, I wanted to do something to mark the occasion. Really send it off to the landfill in style. So I decided to throw a messy carpet party. 

Originally, I'd planned to invite a bunch of the girl's friends over to really annihilate it during an afternoon of carpet debauchery. But life has been exhausting lately and moving at a pace I'm barely able to keep up with (how is it that I'm running with the 5-minute-mile people when I should be back with the 12-plusers?). Organizing a playdate, much less a play-extravaganza just felt overwhelming.

So then yesterday the girls are playing with a friend. And they're bickering about something or other. And I'm cranky and out of sorts and tired of refereeing. I decided we all needed redirection. And silliness.

"Girls," I said. "Want to have our messy carpet party?"

And they did. So we did.

I put out paint and glitter and muddy boots and Play-Doh and fluorescent-colored snack foods and instructed that all messes had to be confined to the carpet. And that this was a one-time deal. 

So the girls went to work.

They were a little tentative at first. Unsure about how far they could take their destruction. But I egged them on. Who's going to put on these boots to stomp around in? Let me get some more glitter and "fairy dust"! Are you out of paint? Allow me to grab another bottle!

We finished off the soiree with a little hot chocolate party (on the carpet, of course). They got to pour their own beverages. 

There was nary a napkin or paper towel to be found.

"Mom! My hands are messy," Jovie cried.

"Just wipe them on the carpet!"I told her.

When my friend walked in the house to pick up her daughter, she nearly had a heart attack (maybe I should've given her a heads up that this was sanctioned...). 

It was glorious.

With all the heaviness in my head these days, it felt good to be be a little reckless. To be the fun mom for an hour. To remind myself that things are just things and that my relationship with these kids will always be more fulfilling than my relationship with my furniture. To realize that making the mess is just as important as cleaning house. 

Our new area rug is smaller, darker, cheaper and shaggier. 

It doesn't know what's coming.


  1. This is great! What a fun way to let kids blow off steam and bid farewell to a carpet that was well past it's expiration date. The wood floors look pretty cool. (I'm a wood floors fan.) I hope the refinishing works out in the long run. My favorite part:

    "Mom! My hands are messy," Jovie cried.

    "Just wipe them on the carpet!"I told her.

    You'll never get to say THAT again. :)

  2. Thank you again for all the knowledge you distribute,Good post. I was very interested in the article, it's quite inspiring I should admit. I like visiting you site since I always come across interesting articles like this one.Great Job, I greatly appreciate that.Do Keep sharing! Regards, carpet cleaner solution

  3. lv carpet depot is North America's authority on carpet cleaning equipment and services.

  4. Much thanks for composing such a fascinating article on this subject. This has truly made me think and I want to peruse more. carpet tile cleaning prescott az

  5. There are many advantages of cover cleaning, not the minimum of which is that it adds to the colossal inclination everybody gets from strolling shoeless on newly cleaned rugs.

  6. Hi Susan

    My advice (if you want to keep using your white carpet) is to buy a professional carpet cleaning machine. For example a good machine can clean all kind of dirty spots no matter how old are they.

    Eva Brown

  7. Thanks for sharing so significative article with us. I agree with your idea competely.I am looking forward to another great article from you. modulyss range

  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. Pleasantly surprised to see this meshwork of amazing words.

  10. Although cleaning the carpet thoroughly, removing the stains do need extensive cleaning procedures in order to remove them in the best way possible.
    GreenWay Carpet Cleaning

  11. I am certainly making the most of your site. You unquestionably have some extraordinary understanding and incredible stories. carpet cleaning mississauga

  12. I high appreciate this post. It’s hard to find the good from the bad sometimes, but I think you’ve nailed it! would you mind updating your blog with more information Carpet Cleaning In Goleta

  13. هل تريد الحصول على افضل شركة تنظيف بالرياض نقدم لكم افضل شركات التنظيف بالرياض على الاطلاق شركة ركن الاندلس وركن الرياض الافضل الامثل فى الرياض لتقديم جميع خدمات لتنظيف بسعر مناسب وبشكل يناسب الجميع لمزيد من المعلوامات يرجى الدخول من خلال الرابط التالى شركة تنظيف بالرياض
    لدينا ايضا شركاتاخر تقدم جميع خدمات التنظيف بالرياض اليكم اقدم وافضل شركات التنظيف فى الرياض اليكم الرابط الرئيسى لشركة لتحصل على المعلومات الكافية حولةالخدمة التى نقدمها وبعضروابطالخدماتالاخرى مثل شركة تنظيف بالرياض
    شركة تنظيف منازل بالرياض

  14. That's such a cool idea,it is sustainable and you have made something cheap carpets gold coast yourself for home.

  15. Thanks for the valuable information and insights you have so provided here... Cleaners London

  16. This is the primary reason why you should always maintain the cleanliness of your carpets all the time. Whether you do this on your own or you hire cleaning services to do so, you need to make sure that your carpets look as new as they should.topryde carpet cleaning

  17. Someone Sometimes with visits your blog regularly and recommended it in my experience to read as well. The way of writing is excellent and also the content is top-notch. Thanks for that insight you provide the readers!

  18. Once a carpet looks exceptionally grimy, this would now be able to obliterate the look of the entire room.Carpet Cleaning in Newport Beach

  19. That's why carpet is not popular among homes with children as parents are afraid their children will breathe in dirty air particles and lead to respiratory illness like asthma.topryde carpet cleaning

  20. I can share with you all and let you know that they are the best in NYC. The company Green Choice will make sure your carpets, rugs, mattresses, leather, and upholstery are not just clean but cleaned thoroughly and correctly the first time. Windy City Steam

  21. Hi there, I discovered your blog per Google bit searching for such kinda educational advise moreover your inform beholds very remarkable for me.
    Carpet Cleaning Fort Lauderdale

  22. Every week-end I used to pay a fast visit this site, because I’d like enjoyment, because this web site conations certainly fussy material.
    Asbestos Removal Westchester NY